Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
