I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
