wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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