You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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