You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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