I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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