just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize