she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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