The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Randomize
