batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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