Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
