Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
