Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
