you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
