So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
