You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
