I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
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