I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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