3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
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I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
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I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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