Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Randomize
