Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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