i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
