You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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