I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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