You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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