i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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