I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
