pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
