??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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