covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
