If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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