is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
