UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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