is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
