the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
