On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
