Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
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All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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