we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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