when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
