just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
