SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize