whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
