What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
