your thong is hanging out like whoa
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
