your thong is hanging out like whoa
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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