I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
