if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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