Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
