Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Dignity is for republicans.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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