The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
where are my eyebrows?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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