Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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