He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
