If i come over, it means nothing
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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