you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
