it hurts more in the daytime
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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