I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
