Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
