We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
