I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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