she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Houston, we have a squirter
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
