Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
