i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
