grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
