Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
