my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize